Had an emotional day yesterday. Basically, I got a call that most women get at some point in their lives… the dreaded call back after a pap smear. I reacted poorly.
First… a little history. 18 years ago, I had this happen to me. That led to a couple of conization procedures at a great hospital and doctors telling me “good news and bad news”. Good news “We got all the bad cells” Bad news “we cut away so much of your cervix that you won’t be able to carry a baby to term” which I heard as “you won’t ever have a baby”.
Within a few months, I was pregnant. Very high risk, due to the fact that I had VERY little cervix left, therefore, hardly anything holding my baby inside. Let’s see… that led to a 6 month pregnancy, instead of 9… baby coming at 28 weeks to the day, and in NICU for 53 days, lots of issues with prematurity that have all corrected themselves (thank God!). Anyway, after my pregnancy, the visit you make the the OB/GYN to do a check up showed that the “good news” I got previously was incorrect news. They apparently “missed” a few cells… those cells, along with the pregnancy hormones grew and went cancerous and now I was told that I needed a hysterectomy. I ended up getting a partial one 17 yrs ago. Sooooo, bottom line, I have a total mistrust in diagnosis given by doctors when it comes to these sort of things…, now back to my story…
Yesterday, I got a call. What was said to me was this. My pap came back with atypical cells, these cells were sent in to test for HPV, which came back negative, sooo, all is good, come back next year.
To anyone else, that would be great news… however, I think you know what that news did to me. I was a mess.
My game plan on this issue is this… on Monday, I’m going to talk to my doctor about this. Ask him if I can request we possibly do the test again, or see what he has to say, seeing as this has happened to me before. Not sure what that outcome will be, but if it’s a no-go, then I’m going to call the insurance company and ask for a 2nd opinion… I just do NOT feel comfortable about waiting an entire year. Not with my history and my nervousness. I just feel that I “got lucky” with cancer once before and I’m not sure that I’ll do it again. Also, a year when it comes to cancer could mean life or death… this is my life and I don’t want to just sit idly by.
Soooo, with that said, today was a better day.
My son and I went to visit a college today… Lycoming College in Williamsport, PA for their Math and Science Day. It was wonderful! Great faculty and students and really a great day, overall. They provided breakfast and lunch (I was good!) and the weather was great, too… although just a bit windy, but the sun was shining!
I let my son drive there and back, as he’s got his permit and we are trying to get him alot of experience behind the wheel… he did a great job… Merging was the lesson for the day.
Wanted to share something with all of you… I got this message from a friend of mine. It really lifted my spirits on Thursday! She has been exercising like a crazy fool and I wasn’t expecting this lovely message from her… this is what it said: